Husband Shares Why His Wife Always Puts Her Hand Under His Shirt
Cailyn Finkel 1/4/2017
Marriage isn't all sunshine and roses - as the years pass and our minds begin to deteriorate, it's often the spouses that are left to care for their aging loved one they best way they know how!
That exactly what Brandon Stanton, the creator of the photography collection "Humans of New York" discovered with his latest subjects. Brandon perfectly captured the anguish, love and dedication that dementia brings out in family, and just how great of a person it takes to care for someone who is slowly losing their grasp on reality.
The story focuses on a husband and wife in rural America. The two have been married for over 50 years, but several years ago, the woman's mind began to slip and things took a turn for the worse. Instead of abandoning his love, he
Read through the moving three-part series below:
"I was nineteen. She was sixteen. Our dates were normally on Sunday. We didn't do much of anything. We were conservative. I was a farmer. We weren't those swinging type people.
But every date was a little more cuddly. Then she took me to her senior prom. It was just ten miles from here-in Richmond. I was the only one there without a tuxedo.
All those city folks didn't know what to make of me. I can't tell you when we fell in love. I can't even tell you when I asked her to marry me. It was just natural. I think we were just sitting in the car and I gave her the ring. I don't have many big moments to share. We were simple people. They were all happy days."
Things for the couple were great, until one day when he noticed something was definitely wrong....
"We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary in Branson, Missouri. On the drive home, she kept telling me that we were going the wrong way. She was very insistent. I didn't fight her. I kept letting her turn around because I knew that eventually we'd hit the main road back to Michigan. I knew then.
Her father had dementia. And so did his father. So I knew what was happening.
Soon she started forgetting names. When it started getting really bad, she wanted to walk away. She was always trying to leave the house. I'd have to lie in front of the door to keep her from going.
One morning I woke up and I couldn't find her. I freaked out: ‘Where did she go? Where did she go?' I ran outside and it was totally dark. Down the road there was a streetlight. And I could barely see her-crossing the road. I ran and I got her. But she fought me. She didn't want to come back home."
Although there's things they can't do anymore, he's just happy to have a life to share with her! God has blessed them with decades of happiness, now it's time to muster through the tougher years.
"I miss that we can't go out and dance. Or visit other people. We used to volunteer at the senior center every Wednesday. She'd play the piano, and I'd turn the pages for her.
The hymns were some of the last things she remembered. Music was her life.
But one day she wouldn't play anymore. And I told the staff that they'd need to find someone else. So we stay here now. But I don't see this as a curse. It's an honor.
This is what the Lord has given me to do. She has served this family her entire life. And now it's my turn to serve her.
I might not have her mentally. But I have her. I can still make her smile. I can make bubbly noises, and blow on her, and she'll smile. Every morning we'll sit in this chair and we'll cuddle until noon. I rock this lady more than I rock my grandchildren.
She likes to slip her hand under my shirt to feel my skin.
And she still likes to kiss. Every once in awhile she'll reach up and give me a kiss. Sometimes she starts ‘yakking.' She doesn't say actual words. And it doesn't make any sense. But I never tell her to be quiet, because it's better than nothing at all."
The feel of his warm skin or the smile on his face brings her back for an instant, and that's all he needs. This is what true love looks like - this is what "in sickness and in health" looks like. They are the perfect example of unconditional and everlasting love!
Read more incredible stories on the Humans of New York website. But be sure to grab a box of tissues, you're definitely going to need them!
Sources: Facebook/Humans of New York, Humans of New York / FB Image Credit: Facebook/Humans of New York, Facebook/Humans of New York